Nitrous

Oh geez, you want to do what with my teeth? and the ones front and center? I don't think so. My appointment is at 9am? I'm good. Ill just let them rot out from the inside or whatever, that can't be so bad. Well fine, I'll go if I must. Motor Trend is a decent magazine anyways. Wow, you are so happy to see me. and you seem so sincere! Is it because you are foreign? I'm not quite sure. The fact that she acted as if her job was so joyful seemed to comfort me. Ill let you tear whatever you want out of my mouth if you've got a smile on your face that isn't see through. Oh wait, what? YES I want laughing gas. This is turning around I tell you.

First breathe the oxygen and then a tickle in my nostrils and then its like Im walking closer and closer to a happier place. Like Im going back in time. Im completely disoriented and yet so happy. My thought process is something to be admired at this point. Something I try everyday so hard to get to, and it's all right here. Surreal explains it best. Im in love. Oh, you've got a girlfriend? She loves you and is there for you? Yeah, that's cool, but i've got nitrous. And that means I just don't give a shit. How can a series of molecules rearranged into a different pattern change everything that matters to me in the world? And people believe in God? I just don't get it. still. I don't think I ever will. Oh and for the record, DEA and any narcotics "enforcement" sqaud can lick my nuts. You're jobs have no moral basis and that fact that you actually believe in what you do makes me sick to my stomach.

oh baby

oh love of mine, don't be difficult.

what?

I've noticed you've noticed it's raining again. It's funny, isn't it, because it is your day off. Coincidence? possibly, but it wouldn't be if you decided to quit. Then you can have all the time to yourself. All the time to yourself. Did i make myself clear? i hope so, because with all that time comes an abundance of thought. You are too scared to think. thinking might re-arrange your future. That precious future you have all planned out. Such an inevitable future, and such an undeveloped mind.

Sincerely, yours

Blank. This space would be blank if i hadn't the initiative to type this. You are not reading this, you are reading code that happens to agree with what i am typing here tonight. As your mornings get darker and more tiresome, the prize in the distance gets further away. In a year, you won't even see it anymore, instead, you will forget about it and decide that you want a white picket fence. Because someone told you that would make you happy, because someone said "This is what life should look like." I guess i am confused. I don't really know what to believe anymore. Everyone with their completely different opinions, eeryone with their soft thoughts of suceeding. I am not this lucky, though. I am just lonely and lacking. Of what? of it all. I can't decide what to believe, so therefore, I am in search. My prize will get closer, and reset when i win. But i will throw all my money away in the process, so i will still lose.

12:10

I have never looked at the starslike i have tonight. They make me wonder who is looking at them with me, but too far away for my eyes to see, Where i can wish to be happy and we can finaly meet, under the black and blue sky where our thoughts would first greet. I don't care for your name, I just care for your body which I wish to proclaim, come wonder with me as we look to the moon and hope to meet the people with our same hobby soon.

The grass isn't cold, since our care provides heat, and we haven't spoken a word so as not to play offbeat, this love is a musical piece where our eyes are the notes and our arms are the sheet, that holds all of the work on organised lines with warm melodies and soft key signs.

I dream that we lay here forever and the sun will be too scared to come up , as it would not want to be responsible for the connection it would disrupt.

Hello.Goodbye.

What a strange feeling! How am I supposed to fake this? Is she oblivious to my feelings? What an odd situation. Of all the things that I promised myself I wouldn't partake in are being partook. Should I feel happy or sad? It's not as though I am not happy, it's that I am not satisfied. Satisfy me, please.

Felt it.

perhaps wishing pain isn't the best idea. Your shape is so perfect, it is only too bad that your blind. You'll never see yourself, but not too many ever do. Not too many can look past what haunted reflections display. I speak as though I am special, but I could never be more wrong. I am binded with societys limits. Don't tell me I'm wrong. If everything is possible, then I'm not wrong. I am only just putting pieces toghether, until I am unable when they all fall out eventually. and darkness consumes me, and silence.

feel it.

I feel like someone just killed me accidently. In the back of their mind they knew exactly what they were doing, and yet, in the front of their mind is a wall with holes that only lets so much from the back out. Thank you, thank you for lying to me for as long as you did. And honestly, with such a disgusting pig, thats your choice? lies are what you spit out, and lies are what you will be taking in for as long as this lasts. I hope you hurt.

safe never felt so terrible

When I say that I think it is safe to say that my life is gay, I am only facing the truth, ok? Almost as if I am setting myself on fire, the days are growing longer and faster do I tire. I can't withstand all these repetative events, like weather does not on a certain teflon tent. and yet I am still alive, but for what purpose do I strive? and where do my thoughts derive? and ...